Christmas Focus

I am looking forward to taking some time off to spend with family and friends over the Christmas holiday. I will also be doing my best not to gain 10 pounds with the various meals, cookies, and treats I know will be put before me. I look forward to watching my children open their gifts and the expression on their faces. I've always loved giving gifts. When I buy a gift for someone I always want to give it to them right away; who cares about waiting until their birthday or even for Christmas Day! And of course I'm human and also like to receive gifts and presents as well.

But when all the gifts are opened and the last cookie is gone, what will be the end result of this Christmas holiday besides a potential credit card bill waiting to be paid in January? Over the years I've begun to realize that the significance of this holiday is about far more than the commercialization that begins in September. There really was a baby born in a manger in Bethlehem. He really was the Son of God and is still the Savior of the world. His announcement to shepherds, an unlikely crew of guys, was humble and tame even though the impact of his birth was divine and eternal. The challenge for everyone is to remember that his birth is still equally significant today. Every time someone receives Jesus into their lives, it's as though he's born again with their hearts serving as the manger.

I can think of a few gifts I've received over the years, many are forgotten though. But one gift stands out so clearly. I can remember the gift of Jesus I received at my bedside at age 8. And while I've failed plenty of times from that time until now, Jesus has always been willing to forgive, restore, and renew my life. As we view the holiday's fresh and new this year, remember to put in focus the greatness of this day. Remember the gift of Jesus. And if at all possible, give that gift to someone else this year.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

Our Vows

Yesterday was a beautiful moment as I watched husbands & wives recommit their lives and marriages to God and to one another. I mentioned how for most of us, when we spoke our vows on our wedding day we really didn't know what we were talking about or committing to. We say for better or worse but we assume it will always be better and never worse. Richer or poorer but we assume richer never poorer. But once some years have passed we realize that it's not one or the other it's actually both. On our wedding day, if someone told us just how hard marriage was going to be we would either think they were lying or run for the hills. But after 16 years of marriage, richer or poorer, sickness or health, and forsaking all others; it's been the most amazing journey in my life. Marriage isn't an event and neither is life. It's a journey. Along the way we learn so much about ourselves, about our spouse, and about a God who loves us more than we could ever know. He is using every relationship, including our marriage, to shape us into the people he longs for us to be.

If you're single, don't be discouraged. Paul tells us in the New Testament that there is nothing wrong with being single. Does God have a marriage partner for you? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know and neither do you. But instead of focusing on finding your soul-mate, why not focus on knowing the creator of your soul. If your affection and attention are focused on God, you might just look up one day and realize he's brought someone into your life as a reward for your faithfulness to him.

Well, the Christmas season is upon us. Starting next Sunday we will start our holiday series entitled "Christmas Is For-Giving". Jesus was born in the manger for a purpose; to ultimately be our avenue for forgiveness. In the series we will talk about how to forgive others, ask for forgiveness, and also about how to forgive ourselves. I'm looking forward to the weeks that remain in 2010!

Have a GREAT week!

Give It To God

Commit your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed. - Proverbs 16:3 (NLT)

I spent the first 3 years out of high school working in the construction field. One of the things I had to learn was how to read the plans to ensure that the goals of the architect were achieved. Just one mistake, one wrong measurement, one variation from the plans could cause the whole project to get off track. I learned very quickly just how important it was to follow the plans.

In the past 16 years I've also found the same thing to be true of life as well. When I started out, I placed a pretty high value on my plans; the ones I made. But as I was willing to finally admit, God had plans for my life as well and sometimes my plans didn't line up with his plans. My mistakes, my wrong decisions, and my miscalculations always cause my life to get way off track from God's plans.

Sometimes I don't learn real fast, but this verse couldn't make it any more simple. This is one of those verses I always talk about; a command followed by a promise. The Command: Commit your work to the Lord. The Promise: Then your plans will succeed. You don't get the promise until you obey the command first. God is the master architect for life. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that he knows every plan he has for us. The smartest thing we can do is stop, submit our lives and our plans to God, then watch how God works. It's not always easy to do but it is the only way to succeed.

What plans do you need to commit to God this week? How long have you been struggling to succeed? All you have to do is commit it to God, listen to his instruction, and you will succeed like never before.

Have A GREAT Week!

Note of Birthday Thanks!!!

Thank you to everyone who sent me birthday best-wishes yesterday! 36; only 4 years to 40!!! Birthdays are a regular reminder not only that I'm getting older but also that I am a blessed man! I have an amazing wife of 16 years and 2 wonderful kids. But the most significant blessing of my life is my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. To all my family and friends both near and far, the most significant gift I could receive from you is to know you've started that relationship as well. Not religion, but a relationship. Don't let a negative past experience at a church or with a stupid so-called Christian keep you from that personal relationship. Stop for just a minute, right now, and start your relationship by saying...... "Jesus, I know I'm not perfect and I've made plenty of mistakes.....but I'm asking you to forgive me of all my sins.....come into my life in a real way.....show me how to live my life for you.....AMEN!" Congrats, you just started your relationship. Now find a great church; not a lame one that doesn't make sense. If you need help finding one. I can give you some suggestions, no matter where you live.

God Bless and have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!!!

What Are You Thanful For?

I first want to express my thanks to our missionary guests from this past Sunday, Matt & Stacey Leighty. The are just beginning the process of raising the necessary funds to serve military personnel and their families in Germany. But in the next 12 - 16 months they will raise those funds and be on their way to serving those families. I appreciated his challenge to share our faith regardless of the obstacles. Thanks Pastor Matt!

With Thanksgiving only a few days away, let me ask the most basic question. What are you thankful for? We often think about what we don't have, but we seldom think about just how blessed we are. The measure of blessing isn't determined solely by the balance of your checking account. For me it's measured by the people we know, the people we've invested in, and the potential of those same people.

What about you? What are you thankful for? Today is a great day to remember where you've been and what God has brought you too. As you sit around your table this Thanksgiving with family & food, don't forget to express your thankfulness to those around the table and most importantly to the God who made it all possible.

Have a WONDERFUL holiday!!!

What Is Commitment?

In a conversation I had with a few people over the weekend, we began talking about what we viewed as the biggest obstacle for most people in marriage, church, business, etc. That obstacle is commitment. Those things that are important in life require so much more than just a surface commitment. Here is a clip from an article I read this weekend.

The most important single factor in individual success is COMMITMENT. Commitment ignites action. To commit is to pledge yourself to a certain purpose or line of conduct. It also means practicing your beliefs consistently. There are, therefore, two fundamental conditions for commitment. The first is having a sound set of beliefs. There is an old saying that goes, "Stand for something or you'll fall for anything." The second is faithful adherence to those beliefs with your behavior. Possibly the best description of commitment is "persistence with a purpose".

Many successful business people are hailed as visionary leaders. On careful inspection they are found to be individuals who hold firmly to a simple set of commitments, usually grounded in beliefs such as "the best product money can buy", or the highest possible customer service". It is the strength of these commitments, religiously followed, that led to their business success.

I think the question everyone should ask themselves is this, "What am I committed to? And is that what God wants me to be committed to?" There are so many things to invest our time, energy, and money in but where is God telling us to invest it.

I encourage you to evaluate your commitments this week!

Love & War :: Resources

Here are 3 key resources I talked about on Sunday morning. Captivating is a great book written for women. Love & War is the topic of our marriage series and is a new book focusing on marriage. And Wild At Heart is a book for men that challenges the specific issues we face. I encourage everyone to pick up at least one of these books either locally or online to help you grow as an individual or as a couple. Click on the books below to purchase the books or to get more information.

Have A GREAT Week!!!
Pastor Mark

Does God Expect Christians To Vote?

It is our contention that it is the duty and responsibility of every Christian to vote and to vote for leaders who promote Christian principles. God is most certainly in control, but that does not mean we should do nothing to further His will. We are commanded to pray for our leaders (1 Timothy 2:1-4). In terms of politics and leadership, there is evidence in Scripture that God has been displeased with our choices of leadership at times (Hosea 8:4). The evidence of sin’s grip on this world is everywhere. Much of the suffering on earth is because of godless leadership (Proverbs 28:12). Scripture gives Christians instructions to obey legitimate authority unless it contradicts the Lord’s commands (Acts 5:27-29; Romans 13:1-7). As born-again believers, we ought to strive to choose leaders who will be themselves led by our Creator (1 Samuel 12:13-25). Candidates or proposals that violate the Bible’s commands for life, family, marriage, or faith should never be supported (Proverbs 14:34). Christians should vote as led through prayer and study of both God’s Word and the realities of the choices on the ballot.

Christians in many countries in this world are oppressed and persecuted. They suffer under governments they are powerless to change and governments that hate their faith and silence their voices. These believers preach the gospel of Jesus Christ at risk of their own lives. In the U.S.A., Christians have been blessed with the right to speak about and choose their leaders without fearing for themselves or their families. In the U.S.A., in recent elections, about 2 of every 5 of self-professed Christians took that right for granted and did not vote. About 1 in 5 self-professed, eligible Christians are not even registered to vote.

In our day and age, there are many who want to drive the name and message of Christ completely out of the public arena. Voting is an opportunity to promote, protect, and preserve godly government. Passing up that opportunity means letting those who would denigrate the name of Christ have their way in our lives. The leaders we elect—or do nothing to remove—have great influence on our freedoms. They can choose to protect our right to worship and spread the gospel, or they can restrict those rights. They can lead our nation toward righteousness or toward moral disaster. As Christians, we should stand up and follow our command to fulfill our civic duties (Matthew 22:21).

© Copyright 2002-2010 Got Questions Ministries.

How Should Christians Vote?

With only 9 days left until the midterm elections I'd love to answer a question that is rarely asked by most Christians. How should Christians vote? When we step into the voting booth most of us consider our selections completely private, personal, and nobody's business. The one thing we forget is that while no one here may know how you've cast your vote there is someone who knows exactly how you voted; and he's no little someone. God sees where your vote is cast. Does your vote glorify God and move HIS agenda forward?

Notice the question is not "Who should a Christian vote for?" because this not a party discussion. I'm not talking about liberals, conservatives, moderates, democrats, republicans, or independents. What I'm talking about is the filter every Christian should filter their vote through; the Bible! How should a Christian vote? A Christian should vote for candidates who uphold Biblical morals, values, and truth. This is hard at times because we sometimes find ourselves voting for the lesser of two evils. Sometimes no candidate completely stands with the Bible on every issue, but we still have the obligation to stand for truth at the highest level available. A Christian shouldn't base their vote on issues like the economy (even though we all want it to improve); God is our source & supplier. No matter the health care policies; God is still my healer. We need to stay focused on Biblical absolutes that are in question in our society as a starting point, then we can filter down to lesser issues.

Let me give you a few examples of issues the Bible is clear on but our society and candidates differ on. Abortion is clearly outlined in the Bible as murder. Marriages is clearly outlined in the Bible as between one man and one woman. No other equation equals marriage in the Bible. Should we be two issue voters? NO. But I do believe we must start somewhere and these two issues are devastating our current culture. If a candidate can't get it right on these issues that the Bible couldn't be more crystal clear on, then where else will they deviate from God's truth.

My simple point is this. As Christians we are obligated to stand for truth in every area of life, including who we elect to represent and serve us. First, you have an obligation to vote. Don't sit out on any election where you can stand for truth. Second, you can't vote if you don't research the candidates. Don't blindly vote, be informed and compare the views of candidates to Gods Word. Third, and most important, PRAY! Pray for God's wisdom, candidates that will honor Him and stand for truth.

Just something to think about as we approach election day. Have a GREAT week!

(Below is the Christian Coalition's voter guide comparing candidates views on Biblical issues)

What Is Success?

That is the primary question that has been bouncing around my head for the past 3 or 4 weeks. What is success?, or, What does it mean to be successful? Have you ever asked yourself that question too? I think it's ingrained in the human mind to desire success, to strive for it, and be willing to do whatever it takes to achieve it. And people are willing to spend time, energy, money to find it. People even go to the extreme of losing a marriage, severed relationships, even with their kids to get success. But think about this for a minute. If we don't know what the definition of success is, and we spend our entire lives trying to achieve it, only to realize in the end that we weren't even heading the right direction. So if we are to have any chance at success we MUST understand what it really is!

If you asked 10 people the definition of success you would likely get 10 different answers. Some would describe it as having enough money to do whatever you want not and in retirement. Another would describe it as having a position of respect & recognition in society. Others would describe success as having a great marriage and wonderful kids. And still others would describe success as living healthy and enjoying life. And to be honest, most of us would like to have all of these things plus much, much more. But let me be clear, while all these things seem great and a lot of people strive for them, this isn't the definition of success.

As a pastor I've tried to answer this question for my life. What does success look like? It could be a lot of people attending my church, and most Sunday's we are full, but I don't feel successful. It could be the number of people who choose Christ as Savior each week, and that's an awesome thing, but that doesn't make me feel successful. It might be the testimonies I receive from people who say my sermon touched them very deeply and caused them to make some changes in their lives, and that's great, but I still don't feel successful. So if you can achieve all this plus the other stuff above and still not feel successful then what is success?

After talking with other leaders and praying I think I've come to the elusive answer. Success is directly connected with obedience. The question we should be asking ourselves on a daily basis is, "Am I doing what God's told me to do?" This might relate to your job, relationships, money, church, using your abilities, and most likely it relates to every one of these things. What's the last thing God told you to do? Are you doing it? If so, then you are successful because the results (money, health, family, blessing) are the byproduct of your obedience. Matthew 6:33 says it most clearly, "But more than anything else, put God's work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well." (CEV) It's funny how our idea of success starts with trying to get the "other things" first hoping to please God in the end. But God says, please put me first then the other stuff will come because of your obedience.

Do you want success? What's the last thing you know God told you to do? Start doing it NOW! God's definition of success is the one that matters and your obedience is the key to achieving it!

Take this to heart, make the necessary changes, and watch your life become successful!

Well Done....Good & Faithful Servant!

Chapter 25 of the book of Matthew is centralized on one theme; being prepared for the return of our God & Savior so that one day we can spend eternity in heaven. There are varied opinions about how we get to heaven. Some believe that all roads lead to heaven while others believe that it's something we earn by doing more good than bad in our lives. I think it's funny that many believe in heaven but few believe in a literal place called hell; as if one could exist without the other. But regardless, the timeless truth of scripture clears it up. Both are a very real destination and the only path to heaven goes directly through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross (John 14:6).

What surprises me most is that Christians (by lifestyle or by name only) don't understand that what Matthew chapter 25 is really about. In our zealousness to simply think about eternity in heaven we forget that there is preparation to be done here first. There are 3 parables, or stories, that Jesus tells. The first is about 10 virgins and whether they were prepared for the return of their bridegroom. This speaks directly to the most important decision of life; salvation through Jesus Christ. The second parable of the talents is about how we treat that gift of salvation. Will we be faithful and fruitful with the blessing of God in our lives or will we squander it and do nothing with it. The third parable of the sheep and goats speaks of how we live our lives. Are we living in such a way that we talk, walk, and live in such a way that Christ is evident to all? Salvation through Jesus Christ, faithfulness with his blessing, and a lifestyle that screams the love of Jesus Christ.

Verse 21 contains a statement we each want to hear someday when we stand before the throne of God, "Well done, good and faithful servant." We want to hear it, but will we? I wholeheartedly defend the fact that forgiveness of sins only comes as the gift of God through the cross of Jesus Christ. This is the only way sins are forgiven. But following the act of salvation, God REQUIRES faithfulness to his Word, faithfulness to his purpose, and faithfulness to his church. He says that true salvation will be accompanied by a changed heart, mind, and life. Neither of these things are part of the act of salvation but they are the required after effect of true salvation. We often forget this.

Have you received Jesus Christ as your personal savior? Do you understand God's specific purpose for your life? What are your gifts (helping, construction, cleaning, finance, music, teaching, administration, leader, encourager, creative, etc) and are you faithfully using them in the church to serve the entire family of God? Are you still making excuses for your bad attitude, habits, anger, reactions, cursing, complaining, greed, selfishness, gossip, laziness, complacency, bitterness, etc. or is your life daily reflecting God more and more everyday?

Salvation is free and only through Christ. But if we want to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant", we must follow through with faithfulness and by training ourselves to become more like Jesus in the way we live everyday. May the decision today to be faithful to God's purpose and plans. Ask God to help you understand the things in your life you need to change to become more like him. Then the most practical step.........start doing it!

Have a GREAT week!

It's a Journey...Not an Event!

No matter where we go or how far it is from where we start to our destination, my kids will often ask the quintessential question, "Are we there yet?" followed quickly by, "How much longer until we get there?" They're often very excited about the destination but not very excited about the journey to get there. We go back to Missouri a few times a year and they are always happy to see grandparents & friends, but about halfway into the 9 hour drive they always ask those questions with exasperated looks on their face. Unfortunately I have to be the bearer of bad news telling them we have 4 hours to go. But being a good Dad (actually just being a Dad who doesn't want to hear them whine for hours), we'll stop at the gas station get a snack to take their minds off the distance and they endure to the end.

It's funny how the story of Christian life parallels the feelings my kids express on those long trips. No matter how long you've been a Christ-follower, haven't you even thought to your self or even asked God, "Are we there yet? Am I getting anything right in my Christian walk? When am I going to stop dealing with the same stuff everyday? When will I feel like I am a good Christian? How much longer?"

In this day of modern conveniences we expect a fast pace and quick results. When we travel we travel quickly. But the Christian life isn't a 30-minute car ride. It's a lifelong journey. Becoming a Christian isn't an event; it's a journey. Think of the journey more like a walk than a high-speed trip from point A to point B. If you walked from wherever you currently live to the southern tip of South America it would take far longer than flying or even driving. And along the way you would encounter heat, rain, roadblocks, obstacles, injuries, and delays. But if you walk long enough you will reach your destination. You'll reach it with an experience, a story, and most likely you'll be a different person for the better.

Christianity is not an event; it's a journey. Receiving Jesus Christ through salvation is the start of the journey and the destination is eternal life in heaven with him forever. Between the start the destination are plenty of lessons, obstacles, delays, pressure, and frustration. But it also includes joys, grace, favor, blessing, people, and hope that overcomes them all! Don't give up on the journey no matter how hard it becomes. Whatever mountain you are climbing today, just remember at the top you will have the perspective to see what God was doing. Then going down the backside, put your arms in the air like on a roller coaster and praise God for all that He's shown you and done in your life.

Have a GREAT week!!!

Looking Back

Sometimes life gets so busy that we forget to look back at just how far we've come. I'm certainly not where I used to be, but I'm not yet to where I know God wants me to be. It's somewhere in that middle ground that we can look back and see all that God has brought us through. I think it's healthy because we can pause for a moment and thank God for walking with us the whole way. All the stuff we thought we'd never make it through; we did! He was with us the entire way leading, directing, loving, and nurturing. It also gives us a great opportunity to look ahead to where God is leading us. It's great to look back, but if you look back to long you'll trip on your future. The future God has for you is far better than your past. We just have keep moving toward it. If you aren't moving forward in God's direction today is a great day to start.

This week I have two reasons to pause and look back. First, this Friday is my wedding anniversary; 16 years. I am blessed to have married such an amazing woman who has faithfully stood by my side both in ministry and in life. Our two kids are the amazing blessing our relationship has produced. Second, Friday is also our 4 year anniversary at Central. We know where we've been and we know where we are going and I am truly excited about what the future holds.

Let me encourage you to join us for Prayer & Praise this Wednesday night at 6:30 p.m. I promise you will be encouraged and blessed.

Have a GREAT week!

Moments With God

Exodus 33:13 ....teach me your ways so I may know you.....(NIV)

These were words spoken by Moses after years in the dessert with the children of Israel, God's chosen people. Following the story of Moses life through scripture takes some determination. There were moments where we would say he was on top of the world, things were going good. But if you read long enough you would also notice that things didn't always stay good. His life was filled with frustration, physical & spiritual attacks from their enemies as well as his own people, lack of food, abundance of food, blessing & curses.

But woven into the journey of Moses was his deep desire to know God. Remember that this is early on, pre-Jesus, pre-New Testament, this was long before most of scripture was penned. But that didn't stop Moses desire to truly know the God he was following. He regularly shared moments with God where God poured very deeply into his soul.

Unlike Moses, we have the completed, God-inspired, infallible Word of God to help us know and understand God. And in addition, when Jesus died on the cross and rose again he tore down every barrier that could separate us from an intimate verbal relationship with our God. With those two things in place for us, how often do we take advantage of them? I've found that the most significant and productive times of my day are the planned & unplanned moments I spend with God. I plan to read his Word, to worship him with a song or two, I plan to talk with him through prayer. It's those moments that cause me to know him better and understand his plans for me. It's also the unplanned; those moments when the Holy Spirit just ambushes me in my office, in my car, our when I'm out and about town.

It's hugely important to plan moments with God, but it's also important to allow the Holy Spirit to ambush you in the midst of your day. Would you be willing to plan some moments with God? Five, ten, fifteen intentional minutes with him either reading his Word or talking to him? I promise those moments will become the most valuable of your day!

Baby Steps

I have always enjoyed being around and playing with babies. Nothing brightens a day like the smile of a child. The only thing better than that is when they finally stand on those chubby legs and wobble around in their maiden attempt to walk. We often refer to them as baby steps. I always joke that Lauren never walked. She stood up and began running; running in to the coffee table, running into the stove...you get the idea.

Yesterday I enjoyed the opportunity to share my heart about what God was doing in me this past summer as well as what he has in store for us. If you weren't able to be in service with us, I would consider it mandatory to listen to that message so you can know why we will be taking the intentional steps presented in future weeks and months. If you were here yesterday, don't hesitate to listen to the message again. It's just impossible to retain everything we hear verbally. Regardless of our church heritage or your personal age I believe the baby steps we take in upcoming weeks & months will prove to be a significant turning point for Central. Why would we consider them baby steps? Because they are the elementary steps that must be taken for a church to grow, be healthy, and fulfill it's purpose.

As I shared yesterday, our first steps are prayer. Prayer is the only thing God promised to respond to and answer. Unfortunately it's the thing we do the least; except for when we want something from God. The type of prayer I'm talking about is when we pray because of our love for God. Not for what he can give us but just to get close to him and express our hearts to him. So the opportunity to pray is available. Starting this Wednesday night (and every Wednesday night) we are having a Prayer & Praise service in the sanctuary at 6:30 p.m. Even though we won't have kids ministry available on Wednesday nights until the beginning of October (3-weeks) parents can take turns alternating to attend the prayer time while one parent stays home.

If you haven't already, I also want you to pick up a copy of the book Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala for $10 in the lobby. This book will powerfully stretch your mind and build up your faith to what God can and is willing to do when his people pray.

Will you join me in taking some baby steps toward God?

Don't Miss This Sunday!!!

No matter where you've been for the past 3 months, you don't want to miss this next Sunday! I am looking forward to sharing the experience & my thoughts from the 30 day sabbatical Tricia and I took in July & August. It proved to be a powerful time spiritually for us as well as a great opportunity for God to have our complete attention. So at this upcoming service I am going to share what I wholeheartedly believe are the action steps God wants us to take as a church. It will probably be surprising just how simple these steps are, yet they are vitally important.

So lock up the cabin, set the Tivo to record the football game, and don't put the roast in the Crockpot too early because this Sunday is going to be a very powerful service. Let me pray for you today......

"Father, I believe you are preparing Central for something big. But for that to happen you will begin by preparing us individually & as a church family. I ask that you prepare our hearts for this Sunday, the worship, the message, and our response. We pray for your will to be done in us and in our city! In Jesus name.....AMEN!"

Who Is My Source?

It was a joy to be back at Central yesterday. Let me just challenge you again as you start this week with the last point of my message yesterday. What is filling up that God-shaped hole in your life? What are you trying to fit in there in an attempt to gain affirmation, joy, peace, love, acceptance, forgiveness, hope, or life? Alcoholics are looking for it. Drug addicts are searching for it. Even middle class soccer moms are trying to fill that void with something. Who is your source?

Things can never fill that void; it's a person. Only God can fill that whole because he is the only puzzle piece that fits. If you're single, you're not going to feel complete just because you get married. If your married and you're waiting for your spouse to complete you spiritually and emotionally, unfortunately, it's just not going to happen that way. Real hope, real life, real joy, and real fulfillment only comes from one place; God! What is your source today? Tap into a new source this week!

"Lord, we claim you as our source today. We need your affirmation this week. Whisper into our hearts just how much you love us and how valuable we are to you. AMEN!"

***Note: Here are the links to the two devotional books I mentioned yesterday in service.

Evaluate

Day 22

The past 22 day have given me a lot of time to think. This is going to be a short blog today because it's really going to be finished by you. Let me give you a few questions to ask yourself then you complete it for me.

5 years ago, where did you expect yourself to be today?

What do you hate most about your life right now? Be specific.

What do you love most about your life right now? (Not spouse or kids)

Where do you see yourself physically & spiritually 5 years from today?

If you can ask and answer these questions within the context of understanding God has plans for your life, you just might be able to reach your God-potential. If you aren't where you expected to be 5 years ago, then why not? What do you need to change?

The Packers began training camp this week. The winner of the Superbowl is being decided right now. It's all decided in the planning stages and the preparation. It's often the smallest decisions we make that launch us toward achieving the final goal.

Think about that today....

Blessed

Day 17

Sorry I missed several days. I was just far enough from civilization that there was no suitable internet connection.

We've taken the last several days to connect with family, pastor's, and mentor's. I spent a few hours this past Sunday evening going through a box of family pictures my mom had put together. We laughed, a lot! I especially enjoyed laughing at photos of my brother. He laughed at plenty of mine as well. I also came across a picture of my dad on on a Christmas morning from years ago......let's just say "blackmail" came to mind. And right now, I'm in the middle of four days with just Tricia (kids are at their grandparents - Thanks Mom & Dad!).

I guess the best way I can express how I have felt the past several days is blessed. A few months ago I preached a few messages on "How To Be Rich". I outlined how statistically we are the richest people, in the richest country in the world. I just heard someone the other day mention that our country only represents 5% of the worlds population, yet we account for 50% of the world's wealth. We're busy trying to figure out how to get rich when in reality we already are. We simply don't know what it means to be blessed. We believe a blessed life is just around the corner where a raise, better car, or a better marriage is at.

I AM BLESSED! I am loved by my heavenly Father, who looks beyond my faults and finds my life redeemable. I am loved by a woman who sees through my imperfections, quirks, and fears. Our marriage has not been perfect (none are!), but everyday I realize just how much I am willing to fight to keep it. I am loved by by two kids who run to meet me at the door to squeeze and hug me everyday when I come home.

On a weekly basis I'm known by many names; Mark, Honey, Daddy, Pastor Mark, Dude, Buddy, and even the occasional Father Mark (even though I'm not Catholic). But the name I should be best known by is BLESSED.

Faith; No More, No Less...

Day 9

You may have noticed I didn't write anything on Day 8...I skipped a day...you'll get over it ;-). As part of the journey I am reading the New Testament over 30 days. I often change versions of the Bible for a period of time just to get fresh perspective. As I'm reading through the N.T., this time I am using the Message Bible. It is not a literal translation, but is instead a paraphrase version. Which means someone read the original scriptural manuscripts and paraphrased it in simple English. I wouldn't conclude doctrine from a paraphrase version, but it certainly is insightful as the Holy Spirit uses it to allow us to view scripture in a fresh, new way. All that said, I read a verse in Luke 17 today that make me think & research. Read it below.

Luke 17 (The Message Bible)
⁵The apostles (disciples) came up and said to the Master (Jesus), "Give us more faith." ⁶But the Master said, "You don't need more faith. There is no 'more' or 'less' in faith. If you have a bare kernel of faith, say the size of a poppy seed, you could say to this sycamore tree, 'Go jump in the lake,' and it would do it.

Let me clarify a few things. First, Romans 12:3 tells us that God has given each Christian a measure of faith. Second, Paul says in 2 Thessalonians 1:3 that he is proud of Thessalonian church because their faith is growing more and more. So we've established that God gives us faith and that our faith can grow. I felt it important to clarify that because some might read these versed from the Message Bible as a contradiction, when in fact they're not really talking about this.

Evaluate the disciples requests; they are saying to Jesus "give us more faith." And the simplified version of Jesus response is (my paraphrased version of a paraphrased version, are you confused yet?), "More faith? Take what you have, even if your faith is as small as a mustard seed, and use it! That much faith can move a mountain if you just use it."

Now let me share how this verse struck me. Have you ever prayed for more faith? Me too. But in my research of scriptures so far, I haven't found where we are encouraged to "pray for faith." I did a word search in the New International Version of the Bible (considered by Bible scholars to be the most accurate translation of the original transcripts) and the word faith appears 256 times. I read all 265 verses and not once did it say that we should "pray for faith." I found that interesting since I've been doing it for at least 20 years. If Jesus hadn't been present, basically the disciples would have been praying for more faith. It was their cop-out. "If only we had more faith we could do amazing things for you Jesus." Jesus was saying, "Look, faith is not an excuse. If you have as much as a grain of mustard seed, you've got enough. Now step out and use the faith you have, then when you begin to see me move mountains in your life, your faith will grow! Then you'll have more faith!"

Stop praying for faith....stop thinking that when you get "enough" faith you will start doing something for God....just start using (exercising) the measure of faith you have right now and watch how God's faithfulness explodes in your life.....then the end result will be more faith.

Think about it!

TALK affects WALK

Day 7

What you say and think matters! Did you realize that what you say sets the course for who you will become and what you think will substantially affect your final destination? I can't stand being around negative people. I love them, but they drain me. Let's face it, everyone has a day where things don't seem so bright and we hit that negative streak. But when our words and thoughts continuously focus on the negative, you can be assured, the negative will happen in our lives. If you look for the negative, you will always find it! What's disappointing is that the entire time you are focusing on the negative, the positive is ALL around you! If we would just focus on the positive, we would experience the positive.

Now I'm not saying the negative will disappear and nothing bad will happen to you. But you'll begin to notice just how much good is in your life as well.

Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. (NKJV)

Proverbs 4:23 Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life. (NCV)

This OR That

Day 6

This morning we attended a church (not in Green Bay for those wondering) and sat in on their service. I've found that going to another church and taking in the "guest experience" is fun. You really get to see how someone else does it and glean ideas about how your church can improve. I guess if everyone were evaluating this same church we'd all come up with both specific and different parts that stood out to us. For me I tend to look at a few things typically. The building was clean, up to date, and contemporary. The sanctuary had great stage effect, lighting, and sound. And when we dropped Lauren off for kids church it was a pretty cool space. Plus, she came out really excited about her service and talking about everything. The worship music was good, the announcements were a little long (at least 10 minutes), but the preaching was good. This church has multiple services and services a lot of families each week. All-in-all, it was a positive experience at a good church. A good service, at a good church.

But...it was missing something. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's hard to even say it without sounding spiritually judgmental, but you go, you attend and you now there is something missing! There must be more!! In the past I've coveted facilities like that. And yes I did use the word covet (I know it's a sin, I've confessed it and I'm forgiven ;-). Even recently I've wanted nicer space, better designed, better equipment, lighting, sound, etc. And to be clear, there is nothing wrong with any of those components or having them in your church. But as I sat at lunch today, as I talked with Tricia I made a statement that came from the depths of my soul. Here's what I said, "If I had to choose between that facility and all it's amenities OR a Holy Ghost -driven, powerful move of God; I'd choose the later. I know that would seem to be the obvious choice but some days based on my actions, that's not what I pick. I want a move of God in me, my city, and my church so bad I would give up every other request to get it.

What about you? If you aren't experiencing that type of powerful move of God in your personal life do you know what that means? It means you chose the other thing instead! Your other thing might be more money, bigger house, nicer car, more toys, kids sports; you fill in the blank! But you chose it; OVER God! Why can I say this so boldly? Because I've done it too. I'm ashamed of the times I've done it; missing out on God's best. But not anymore! Today is a new day and I've made my choice. I know I'll fail again, but still I choose to start down a new road in pursuit of an awesome God. He promised that if I would seek Him, I would find Him. I plan to prove Him right! How about you?

The Root Issue

Day 5

This morning I mowed the grass for the second time this week; combination of much needed rain and great sunshine! Jonathan's been helping out this summer by running the riding mower and cutting about 2/3's of the lawn. That's a big help. Today while he was mowing I started pulling weeds around some of our landscaping. I hate weeds. Seems like they always grow faster than the grass...it's just silly. When I pulled those weeds I noticed that the roots below ground were often longer than the height of the week above ground. It's not something I just noticed, but it always surprises me. Sometimes I don't get the whole root out but accidentally only tear the top off the weed. Which means I'll be pulling those again.

If your not bored to sleep just yet you're probably wondering, "What the heck are you talking about! I don't want to hear about your weeds!" Here's the point. In almost 16 years of ministry & counseling I've met with hundreds of people who've had problems of many kinds. Most of the time, the problem they tell you about isn't really the main problem. It's just a symptom of a deeper root issue. The current problem is what you see now, but the heart of the issue goes much deeper. Most people will deal with those same problems for 10, 20, 30 years or even longer because they aren't willing to deal with the root issue. That's work. That means we have to become vulnerable.

What is a problem you've been dealing with for a while now? You usually only try to treat the symptoms and it may go away for a while but it always pops back up. Isn't it time to get to the root issue? Is it an abuse from childhood that's affecting your marriage today? Is it low self-esteem from a hurtful relationship or former marriage that wrecks any friendship or relationship today? What is the root issue for your problem? Stop ignoring it. It's as obvious to everyone else as a lone dandelion in a plush green yard. Get to the root of your issue....let God heal you.

"LORD, I've got issues from my past that are still popping up in my life today. Help me deal with them. Help me get to the root of the issue and find healing in you today. AMEN!"

Faith, NOT Feelings

Day 4

It's easy to be happy and live for God when feel like we are close to God and God is close to us. But what about those times when it feels like God is a million miles away. We haven't stopped praying, or reading his Word, or even living for his purpose; it's just that we don't feel God the same way.

Rick Warren gave a great example of this when he wrote, "When you are a baby Christian, God gives you a lot of confirming emotions and often answers the most immature, self-centered prayers—so you'll know he exists. But as you grow in faith, he will wean you of these dependencies. Yes, he wants you to sense his presence, but he's more concerned that you trust him than that you feel him."

This happened to Job. In one day he lost everything - family, possessions, and health. What did he do? He cried out to God! And for 37 chapters God said nothing. We know how the story ends so we often overlook the emotion of those 37 chapters. Where did Job's faith grow most? After God answered and restored everything, or during those 37 chapters where God was quiet and all Job had to hold onto was his faith in a God?

If you know me at all you know I am an openly emotional guy. But I am learning that I can't allow my feelings or emotions to be the gauge of God's work in me. He is most pleased when my relationship with him is based on the faith (the facts his Word declares & His promises) instead of my feelings. Do I still feel God?...Yes, and I pray I continue to. But feeling him is no longer my pursuit; knowing him through faith is far more fulfilling. It's that type of faith that pleases God.

"LORD, teach me to trust your Word and establish my faith upon it regardless of how I feel. Teach me to rest in your truth. I don't just want to feel you, I want to know you!....AMEN!"

Filter Peoples Advice...

Day 3

Have you notice that everyone seems to think they have the answers for your life? When you share your problem or even when you don't there is often a line of people who are prepared to tell you what you need to do and how you need to do it! One comment I hear often that drives me crazy is, "I know exactly how you feel!", or "I went through that exact same thing!" When someone says that to me it makes me want to grab them around the neck and say, "No you don't!!! Your situation may have been similar but not exactly the same!" For those of you who've caught yourself saying that to someone, let me tell you what the listener hears when you speak. "What you're going through is common. Why are you being such a whiner? It's just life!" In essence, you are disregarding something that is huge to them at the moment and in effect devaluing them and their feelings.

I can't tell you how many comments I got about how I should "do" this sabbatical. What to do and how to do it, what course to take and how it should look in the end. Now to be clear, I do believe that we should have people in our lives to speak into us, hold us accountable, and verbally invest in us. But there comes at time when the best person to do that is God. Even the best people will sometimes give you only advice filled with worldly logic instead of divine revelation.

When someone advises you, qualify their words through this filter. 1) Are they someone who reads their Bible regularly? 2) Are they someone who you know to wholeheartedly seek God in prayer. 3) Have you seen their personal decisions produce spiritual fruit? 4) Are the humble with you and with others? 5) Do they regularly exhibit a servants heart to others? 6) Does their advice COMPLETELY line up with God's Word and what God has already spoken to you through prayer? If you can't answer these questions with a "yes" be careful!

Matthew 23:8-10 (The Message Bible)
Don't set people up as experts over your life, letting them tell you what to do. Save that authority for God; let him tell you what to do. No one else should carry the title of 'Father'; you have only one Father, and he's in heaven. And don't let people maneuver you into taking charge of them. There is only one Life-Leader for you and them—Christ.

How do you know.....?

Day 2

Yesterday we started doing something new in our family. We've always prayed together but we've never really done some sort of family devotional together. So we started yesterday using a book called Dinner Table Devotions. The daily reading for July 13th was about healing and how God is a healing God. It only took about 5-7 minutes then we prayed together. It was a very positive thing and I'm glad we started to it. I encourage other families to make the time for something like this as well.

What was funny was the question afterward. We've noticed that Lauren is our "question girl". Remember the devotion was on healing, but her question was not. Sitting next to me on the couch she looked right up at me with those big brown eyes and said, "How do you know when God talks to you?" Would anyone like to take a shot at answering that one?

How many other people have ever asked that question? I have. My easy explanation to Lauren was to give her an example....like when she does something wrong and that voice in her heart tells her she shouldn't have done that, or that she should apologize; that's God speaking to her heart. She then proceeded to explain to me how that really does happen for her and how important it is to her. Wow!

What about for us adults? How do we know when God is speaking to us? Let me give you the most simple explanation I have to help you know when you are hearing God speak to you. 1) Usually what he says isn't what we want to hear! God's answers always go against our logic. My selfish nature always wants God to do things my way. I even rationalize out why God should do things my way, but he never does. His voice cuts through my logic. 2) When God speaks to us his words always support His Word. If you think God is speaking to you, check it against the Bible. A revelation Word from God will never contradict his written Word. If it does, you didn't hear from God. Check EVERYTHING against His written Word!!! 3) When God speaks instruction or revelation to us the end result should be the glorification of God NOT ourselves! God does not have an ego problem, but he will not take second place. I hear people often say, "God told me to do (blah-fill in the blank)". And when reviewed it's selfish, self-honoring, and lifts up the individual not God. God's instruction steers us and others toward Him.

Journey on.......

A Child's Honest Question

Day 1

Let me set the scene. I'm sitting in my living room; just finished my devotional and starting my daily Bible reading. Jonathan is sitting on the couch reading day 4 of his journey through the Gospels in 30 days on his iPod using YouVersion. Lauren is sitting next to him reading her own Bible. Then it happened.....one of those moments that makes you both laugh and cry. She turns to Jonathan and asks, "Is the Bible real? Did this stuff really happen?" She was dead honest.

I thought about how honest and sweet the questions of a child are. The beginning of faith really starts with the question my daughter asked. God loves that question. He loves to answer it and prove just how real he is. He loves to show up in our everyday lives and prove that no matter what the world says about his existence, he is real and HE IS GOD!

"LORD, show me today just how real you are and how much you love me. AMEN!"

Excited & Anxious

Yesterday I shared that Tricia and I will be taking the next 30 days as a time of sabbatical; fasting, prayer, healing, refreshing, and renewal. It's something I am both excited and anxious about at the same time. It's exciting because I know it's an act of obedience and anxious because there is now way to know all that God is going to do. But when you really think about it, many of the great things in life bring these same emotions. Think of Christmas morning when kids are so excited to open those presents but partnered with it are those anxious feelings of not knowing what inside those wrapped boxes.

I don't know what's in the spiritual boxes God's placed in front of us, but I am excited. And I know my anxiety will subside as well because I know my God only gives good gifts. The spiritual refreshing, direction, and blessing that is to come will be better than I could ever imagine. It's all part of the spiritual journey everyone of us travel in our walk with God.

Embrace the journey! Over the next 30-days fast a few meals per week, spend more time talking with God in prayer, and open up the Bible and see what it has to say. Try reading the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) over the next 30-days. Just 3 chapters per day and you will get a full picture of Jesus life and example for each of us and read through all 4 books of the Bible.

Tricia and I appreciate your support and prayers during this season of refreshing. We love pastoring the Central family and we look forward to the explosion of God's favor and blessing that is to come.

Have a great week!

Independence Day

On Sunday, we will celebrate the birthday of our country with July 4th celebrations all over the country. 234 years ago our founding fathers signed their names to the Declaration of Independence, the written edict declaring to Britain our decision to break free from tyranny in pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness. Those same founding fathers understood that life, liberty, and happiness wasn't something to be found in ourselves, but in the Creator who holds each of those things in His hands.

In 2010, have you truly achieved life, liberty, and happiness? If we evaluate the human condition in America, I believe most people have traded life for a living, liberty for cultural slavery, and happiness for temporary stuff. It's a clear sign that we've not only chosen independence from Britain but from God. Even though we achieved freedom from tyranny in 1776, I'm not so sure we are any more free today. We strain for freedom but true freedom is only found in the Creator. Galatians 5:1 says, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (NIV) The principles of this verse are clear.

1) Only Christ can set us free.
2) Once free, he intends for us to stay free!
3) No matter what, DON'T GO BACK TO SLAVERY!

What is still enslaving you? Fear? Failure? Past Hurts? Whatever it may be, make today your spiritual Independence Day! Christ has already done everything needed for you to have freedom. Ask him for it, receive it, walk in it, and never go back to slavery!!!

Have a great week!

Letting Go

I've really enjoyed the past 5 weeks and our parenting series "Every Kid Needs...." Parenting is the most exciting, fulfilling, and difficult job a person will ever do. But It's also a tremendous blessing when done well. I encourage every parent to continue to work on your parenting skills and seek out resources to will equip you better. It's a job I want to be successful at; I encourage you to do your best as well. One book I read while preparing this series of messages was "Kid CEO" by Ed Young. This proved to be a great resource and I encourage parents to give it a read. As always, if you want to listen to one or all of the messages in this series again, just go to www.centralassembly.net and you can listen for free. Below is the beginning to a series of articles by Dr. James Dobson about how to release your teenage kids into adulthood. Click HERE for more articles on this topic. Have a GREAT week!!!

The most common mistake made by parents of older teenagers (16 to 19 years of age) is refusing to grant them the independence and maturity they require. Our inclination as loving guardians is to hold our kids too tightly, despite their attempts to squirm free. We try to make all their decisions, keep them snugly beneath our wings, and prevent even the possibility of failure.

And in so doing, we force our young adults into one of two destructive patterns: Either they passively accept our over protection and remain dependent "children" into adult life or they rise up in great wrath to reject our bondage and interference. They lose on both counts. On the one hand they become emotional cripples who are incapable of independent thought, and on the other they grow into angry, guilt-ridden adults who have severed ties with the family they need. Indeed, parents who refuse to grant appropriate independence to their older adolescents are courting disaster not only for their children but also for themselves.

Click HERE for more articles on this topic.

This material is excerpted from Dr. Dobson's book The New Strong-Willed Child (copyright © 1978, 2004 by James Dobson, Inc.), published by Tyndale House Publishers, and is used by permission.

Family Time

I hope you enjoy this article about how to create some intentional and creative family time. If you would like to read some other articles related to developing family time, click HERE. Have a great week!

My wife, Cathy, and I stared at each other in disbelief as our oldest daughter, Christy, told us she was running away. When she started packing her suitcase, we knew she was serious. Cathy and I weren't sure if we should laugh or cry — after all, Christy was only 6.

Our daughter told us she was moving to Julia's house across the street because her mommy and daddy were nicer. My wife called Julia's mother to tell her what was taking place and that Christy was on her way over. Then, we stood on our sidewalk and watched our little girl carry her suitcase and favorite doll across the street where Julia's mother waited outside the door to greet her.

A few hours later, Julia's mom reminded Christy it was Monday night and that our family always went to the Golden Spoon for frozen yogurt after dinner. It was a tradition my three girls looked forward to — including Christy. To our delight, she called and asked if she could go. It was a joyous reunion!

The weekly yogurt run was part of our family identity — part of what made us who we were. Even the neighbors knew our routine and sometimes shouted to-go orders as we pulled out of our driveway. Our three daughters are now grown, but when our family gets together, we still make trips to the Golden Spoon. It's one of those simple traditions that have kept our family bonds strong.

Not surprisingly, a strong family identity also helps children develop a strong and healthy self-identity. Knowing what makes their family unique — traditions, values, ways of relating to one another — gives children a clear starting point for discovering their own place in the world. Studies even show that kids who identify with their family's values tend to be less promiscuous and face less risk of drug and alcohol abuse.

Perhaps you're wondering, How can we build a strong family identity? Here are three principles to get you started.

Your presence matters. Children regard your presence as a sign of care and connectedness. Families who eat meals together, play together and build traditions together thrive. Does your family eat together at least four times a week? If so, there is a greater chance your kids will perform better in school and be less likely to exhibit negative behavior.

Although it may seem trite, a family that plays together, stays together. I'm not talking about just cheering on your kids at soccer games or dance recitals but actually playing together. One family I know has a pingpong tournament each week. The winner doesn't have to do the dishes for a day. Our family had a Fun Day once a month. One of the girls picked an activity, and the rest of the family participated.

Celebrate everything. Don't miss a single chance to celebrate your family. You can celebrate rites of passage and other events such as Little League victories and graduations — from any grade

On birthdays, we go out to dinner then play a game called Affirmation Bombardment, in which each family member shares three words of encouragement for the birthday person.

Talk about faith. Spiritual topics don't always come naturally for families. Discussions about God, however, can help build family identity. They also help kids have strong convictions as they get older.

Maybe you have some anxiety about starting a faith conversation with your children. Remember, your talk doesn't have to be forced or lengthy; it can be simple, short and spontaneous. Let the discussion be as natural as possible. Getting preachy with your children can be just as unhelpful as avoiding the topic of faith.

One way to create opportunities to share your faith with your kids is to pray with them every day and do a weekly family devotional, even if only for five minutes. When your children are exposed to God's truth in small amounts, it can, as a friend of mine says, "help them develop a sweet tooth for Jesus."

Jesus said, "Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock" (Matthew 7:24-25).

This truth applies to families. At some point, storms will come to every family. But when you proactively build a strong family identity on the rock of Christ, your family can withstand whatever winds and rains come your way. A strong family identity will give your kids a solid foundation to cling to during those difficult times.

This article first appeared in the Parents Edition of the February, 2008 issue of Focus on the Family magazine. Copyright © 2008 Jim Burns. All rights reserved.

Creative Discipline Ideas

Disciplining our children is one of the hardest things to do, and more importantly; do well! The following is an opening piece to an article written by Lisa Whelchel. Lisa is the author of the book Creative Discipline. Enjoy this opening article and click here to find more helpful discipline tips. Have a GREAT week!

As you well know, the parenting adventure is different with each child — and it's vital to recognize and adapt to your children's various temperaments, strengths, and weaknesses. Think of yourself as a sculptor shaping and molding the lives of your young ones. With each child, you may be working with a different medium. You could be endeavoring to form one youngster who appears to be as hard as marble. As an artist, you might use a chisel, hammers, even water, while sculpting your masterpiece. You may have another child who is more pliable, like clay. Even then, as a potter, you might use fire, a knife, and your bare hands.

It doesn't matter what substance you're working with, be it wood, ice, bronze, wax, sand, steel, or foam. Each raw material requires a distinct combination of tools to strike the balance between respecting its uniqueness and steadfastly pursuing the potential beauty within.

In the following articles, I will present different tools and creative ways to use them as we allow the Lord to work through us, shaping our children in His image (see Colossians 3:10). You'll see, there's no reason discipline has to be boring!

Experiment. If one idea doesn't work, try something else and come at it from another direction. But don't dismiss a failed method altogether; it may work on another child or at another stage of childhood. Believe me, your departure from the ordinary ways of correction will keep your kids on their toes, wondering what you'll next pull out of your bag of tricks. The road is long, but it doesn't have to be dull.

Click HERE to read more from Lisa Whelchel on Creative Discipline Ideas.

Cultural Influences

Link to the entire article....

When my children were toddlers, I installed childproof latches on all the cabinets and drawers within their grasp to keep them from ingesting dangerous substances. During the grade school years, I zealously guarded the shows they watched to make sure they didn't pollute their young minds.

When my girls reached their teen years, I realized that health and intellect weren't the only areas that needed protection. Spiritual dangers lurked in humanistic curricula, dehumanizing music and peer pressure. But how could I create a safe environment that encouraged rather than undermined their spiritual growth?

None of my daughters seemed interested in joining a convent, so I began asking the Lord for wisdom. He reminded me that where sin abounds, grace abounds even more (Romans 5:20). And He taught me that knowledge is a powerful weapon in spiritual realms.

Know your kids

Play with them, and pray with them. By careful observation, you can discern their spiritual gifts and subtle character flaws. Are they leaders or followers? Confident or insecure? This knowledge is essential as you determine what environments and relationships are helpful — or harmful — to their spiritual growth. Every child is different, and what's helpful for one is not necessarily the best for another.

For example, my youngest daughter wrestled with peer pressure when she was in high school. Candyce loved Jesus but made bad choices when peer pressure was too great. Her dad and I had to monitor her choices carefully.

Her older sister Danielle, on the other hand, never wavered in her faith — or her actions — when pressured by friends. Her beliefs were tested in the classroom. Knowing this, I made sure we had lots of discussions about issues that confused her. Her dad and I were able to be sounding boards as she learned to sift through truth and error.

Know their hangouts

Where do your kids spend the majority of their time? At school? The mall? Sports practice? Youth group activities? How familiar are you with their stomping grounds?

When my girls were in junior high and high school, they decided to start a Christian punk rock band. When they actually began booking shows, I was a little concerned about the venues — not to mention the clientele who would attend their concerts. So I went undercover and became their manager. I learned a lot about my daughters, their friends and the alternative music culture, which helped me to make informed decisions about concerts and parties they wanted to attend.

Here's an important safety tip: Just because a place — be it a school, concert, coffee house — has the adjective Christian somewhere in its name, that doesn't mean it's going to benefit your child's faith. My oldest daughter, Lindsay, attended a respected Christian high school and graduated with honors. She recently told me, however, that she found it more faith-numbing than faith-inspiring. Sure, some of the students were walking out their relationships with Christ, but in Lindsay's opinion, the majority of her peers had learned the fine art of schmoozing. They lived double lives and invited her to do the same.

There are no hard rules by which to measure the spiritual influence of any given place. Lindsay now works in the secular music industry. That spiritual environment is sketchy at best, but I've seen Lindsay's faith grow as she's been constantly challenged. Most days, she shines like a star "in a crooked and depraved generation" (Philippians 2:15). She's figuring out how to keep the faith in a godless arena.

The only foolproof way to know if an environment is going to be a help or hazard is to check it out yourself. Watch how your kids respond to the pressures around them. Volunteer at school and get to know their teachers and coaches. Help with the youth group or take your kids to see their favorite band in concert.

Know their friends

As Eddie Haskell so humorously illustrated in the "Leave It to Beaver" series, sometimes the veneer of respectability can overlay the heart of a rascal. Short of hiring a private detective to tail our kids' buddies, how do we know what kind of effect they have on our children?

"Since I spend a lot of time driving my younger teens and their friends to various events, I use that car time as a way to get to know their friends," says Jill, a mother of three sons. "I try to ask questions about their families and interests. You can learn a lot about a kid's character if you are paying attention."

Parents can also get a clue about their children's friends by regularly reading comments on their blogs and MySpace accounts. Don't hesitate to check out their friends' profiles. You might feel as though you are eavesdropping, but the reality is that unless MySpace profiles are set to private, all that information is for public display.

Create an open atmosphere in your home, making it a safe haven for your kids and their friends. Encourage honest, lively discussions where young minds can express themselves without the fear of being judged. Our girls — and their friends — have learned that even if we don't agree on every issue, we will treat them with respect. Faith is built when there's freedom to speak frankly and wrestle with tough subjects — even if it makes us wince.

When it comes to assessing the spiritual impact of any environment on our kids, knowledge is power. Know your children, know their hangouts and know their friends. Empowered by this knowledge, you can help your kids keep the faith. And maybe you'll even keep your sanity.

This article first appeared in the October, 2007 issue of Focus on the Family magazine. Copyright © 2007 Shawn Alyne Strannigan. All rights reserved.

Parenting: Character Development

For the month of May I want to use SoulFood to resource parents with more ideas and input about what "Every Kid Needs...." I will share resources not original to me but great nonetheless. This week enjoy an article from
Focus On The Family about how to help your kids develop character. Enjoy!

Do you remember Pinocchio, the little wooden boy carved from a piece of pine by the woodcarver, Geppetto? Even though Pinocchio dream of becoming a real boy, there was very little real about him – except that he had a nasty habit of lying. Whenever he lied, his nose grew. If he told a whopper, it grew very long, while a little white lie caused only a little growth.

According to Dr. Chuck Borsellino, the author of Pinocchio Parenting, many adults suffer from Pinocchio's problem. No, they're not blatant liars, and their noses don't grow, but they use false clichés to teach their kids, which can be problematic.

Before you think you couldn't possibly be a "Pinocchio Parent," check out these four common lies that adults tell their children. While people may repeat these untruths at any time, I've broken them down by ages and stages for extra insight.

Early Stages (0-3)

"Yes, Honey, there is a Santa Claus."

During the Christmas holidays, tiny tots all over the United States gather in shopping malls to sit on Santa's lap. Soon, with a little coaching from Mom and Dad, our littlest citizens believe in the magic man in the red hat and long, white flowing beard.

You might be thinking, OK, wait a minute! What's wrong with Santa? He is part of the magic of Christmas. Granted, many people agree that there isn't anything wrong with St. Nick, including Dr. Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family. "I wouldn't take that away from early childhood. My kids loved Santa."

While Dr. Borsellino agrees with Dobson that play and fantasy are a fun part of childhood, the main lesson parents should glean from Santa is to be "careful telling your kids anything that you'll have to un-tell them later."

Discovery Years (ages 4-7)

"What's on the inside is what matters."

The first time that Julia came home from middle school crying because her classmates ridiculed her about her "elephant-size" ears, her mother tried to comfort her by saying, "Sweetheart, it's what's on the inside that matters."

While this sounds like a good argument because what's on the inside does matter to God, the truth is that we in the United States have a beauty bias. And, according to Borsellino, "We lie [to our kids] when we don't face that."

What can a parent do when teens, especially girls, are demoralized by the world's message that you don't matter if you don't look like a movie star? While a parent does not want to emphasize outward appearances, Borsellino believes parents should teach kids to make the most of what God gave them. "If the barn door needs painting, paint it," he says. We should also eat healthy and exercise to take care of our bodies. Of course, making the most of our outward appearance should never be done at the expense of faith or character.

Tween Ages (ages 8-12)

"The best things in life are free."

When your children start to grow, it's natural for you to want to teach them to be grateful. You want them to value the little things in life, right? For this reason, just about every parent tells their kids, "The best things in life are free."

While this may sound good, the question is this: when is the last time you really valued something that was free? It's probably been a long time, or it may have never happened. The truth is that anything that is worth something costs something. It costs courage, dedication, money, sacrifice or relational commitment.

The college graduate who studied for years will tell you they value their diploma. The husband and wife who have worked their way out of a deep marital ditch will tell you that a healthy marriage isn't free. The young pastor who works two jobs to keep his congregation afloat will say that it costs dedication.

So you see, the truth is that the best things in life aren't free, and according to Dr. Borsellino, "Whatever you earn cheaply, you will also value to the same degree." No doubt, this is a great truth to teach your kids.

Teen Phases (ages 13-18)

"You can be anything you want to be."

When parents want to encourage their teens about finding a career they often say, "You can be anything you want to be." Is it a lie? Absolutely.

"The truth is, if you're 4'9," says Borsellino, "you can't play in the NBA."It is also true that we have more opportunities in the United States than just about anywhere else in the world, but no one can be whatever they want. A skilled engineer will probably go crazy trying to write a book, and an artist would most likely go bananas if she had to crunch numbers for a living. Yes, God has given everyone gifts, but no one has every gift.

Rather than tell kids they can be whatever they want, Dr. Borsellino suggests that parents ask themselves, "What kind of gifts and talents can I fertilize in my children?" In other words, how can I encourage growth of the particular gifts, talents and bents that God has placed in each of my children? Parents should also teach their kids to strive for excellence by doing their best with whatever skills and talents God has given them.

Most importantly, Borsellino wants his readers to know that the most dangerous lie is not one we tell our kids, but the one we tell ourselves. It's when we say, "I don’t matter." No doubt, this lie will rob parents who believe it of their ability to parent effectively.

The greatest proof that we do matter is the cross. Through Christ's act of unconditional love, God said, "You mean the world to me, even if the world says you don't matter." Not only is this one of the greatest truths that parents should embrace, but it's one they can share with their children, at any age or stage.

Copyright 2008 Shana Schutte. Used by permission.